You Shattered It

"I know I've messed up in many ways, and you too. We are all humans and we're all flawed. But aside from being a jealous little girl, I know that I love you with all my heart and the good that we have outweighs the bad. There are times that you may feel I don't care about you, but it's during those times that I actually care about you so much that it hurts when you're not being yourself. Today, I'm down on my knees not knowing whether I deserve to ask you this, but hey, life is way too short to not follow your heart...You're a wonderful person and you embellish my life with your presence. Will you do the honour of giving both of us a fresh start, another chance to do our best, another chance to work it out...and maybe a chance to be my girlfriend and a shot at making you the happiest woman alive? "

Under the stars, surrounded by little candles, just the dramatic way I would do it, this was how I was going to ask you to be mine the weekend after we fought. I was very certain about this because that night I saw the worst side of you, and although it made me shocked and sad, I wasn't scared. It only made me realize that I loved you as a whole. Your good and your bad.

But you shattered it.

You shattered it completely by being cold and so consumed by your anger. You shattered it when you choose to leave me hanging when I apologized. You shattered it when you choose to be silent about your relationship with her. And most of all, you shattered it by telling me you had nothing to do with her whereas you guys spend time together as much as we used to. You shattered it when you chose to jump into bed with her just because we're going through a bad phase. Yeah, I know about that too and I feel stupid for trusting your words saying you've got nothing to do with her.

You chose to drive me away by doing all of that, and deep down in your little heart, you know it.

You shattered it, and now I am done praying for you and for our situation to get better. I am now clear as to why God didn't answer my prayers and just showed me more about you and her every single day. He wanted to let me know that you wouldn't love me in the big way that I love you, that you wouldn't tolerate my mistakes the way I've tolerated your many many flaws. Most importantly, He showed me that in such a short time, if you can simply choose someone else when we are going through a rough patch, what guarantee will I have that you will stick it out through bad times in life ?

I love you, but you shattered it, and I will no longer jump through hoops for you.

If there's anything to be done to make things right, it's on you. That indeed, would be a miracle.